About This Blog

The name of this blog comes from a name my husband gave me years ago. It started out as just a simple knitting blog, to show off my creations to the world. But with all that has gone on in my world, I have changed it to show how knitting and other crafts are helping me deal with my anxiety and depression. I'm hoping that this might play a small part in showing the world that these mental disorders are not something to fear or be ashamed of, but something that we must work through as a part of life.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Yoga Challenge: Day 2

Yeah, so Day 2 did not go so well.

Yesterday was the first day at the new location. That on top of the fact that they just had a really good Groupon means that the place was packed. I mean, I was jealous of the room sardines get.

So I always show up early to class, to make sure I get a good spot, and I'll admit, it's usually by a door so that if they decide to crack them, I'm right there for the fresh air. That's half because of the heat, half because of the smell.

So I picked a spot close the the wall with the door, but these doors are different. There's a giant window wall that shows out to the parking lot, and I didn't want people outside to watch me, and didn't want the setting sun in my eyes, so I picked right by a pillar.  Wasn't a smart move on my part, but I'll get to that later.

I laid down and closed my eyes like I normally do, trying to get my zen on before class, so I was shocked to see when I stood up that there was easily 50 to 60 people in this class. My heart jumped. I thought I was lucky at the time to have at least one wall next to me, because I had someone in front, behind, and to my right all withing 'personal' space range. Like maybe a foot or two away from me.

I am not one that likes being very close to people, and we all know how I really can't stand being in large crowds, so even though I remembered to take my Xanax an hour before class, I started to panic.

I had to move around during Pranayama breathing because I was bumping my elbow against the guy next to me and the wall beside me. With Half Moon pose, I couldn't bend to my left, because I had a wall 6'' to my left.

By the time we got to Awkward Pose, my heart was racing, but not because of the heat. I was scared. I just couldn't do it any more.  For the first time in the 6 months I've been doing Bikram Yoga, I left the room. I just couldn't take it.  Of course, the teacher at the desk was worried I was dehydrated, having heat stroke, or just over worked, so it took some time to explain to her that I was having a panic attack. First day at the new location and I end up hyperventilating and crying in the lobby. Greeeaaat.

After about 10-15 minutes I was finally able to calm myself down and went back into the class. They were just starting Standing Bow, which I've always enjoyed, so I tried to get into it, but wasn't warmed up enough so I twinged my back. I took it down a notch was able to do much better.

Problems arose again during the Standing Separate Leg Stretching. The dude to my right went to the back of his mat, which meant I had to be in the front. But, the dude straight in front of me was also at the back. Which meant if I had bent down in a swan dive motion like I'm supposed to, I would have ended up with my face in his balls.  Not something I ever really want to do.

I had to skip out on Triangle pose all together, again because there just wasn't enough room. Savasana was even worse, because I had some dudes feet next to my face, and EVERY time he flexed his foot I got smacked in the face with it. Didn't help that the guy had yellow toenails. I was also very self conscious of the fact that my feet were in someone else's face. The lady behind me was so close that our mats were literally touching, and she didn't even shift to the side, she was directly behind me. So I had to lay at an angle, off my mat, just so I wouldn't kick her. That of course messed with my OCD because I was crooked on the mat, so more mental crap there.

((My OCD is very minor, and mostly has to do with things being even and centered.  When I meditate, if I'm not smack in the middle of the mat or bed, I can't focus. If a bra strap is lower than the other, I can't focus until it's fixed. If a chair is leaning to one side, I can't focus until it's fixed. So yeah, laying at an angle with my head and feet off the mat really set off my OCD))

By this time, I was just so fed up with the class that I hardly even tried in the floor series. Even the Savasana's were hard, because if I had my head to the right, dudes feet, head to the left, bright ass sun set in my eyes. Felt like I needed sunglasses.

So all in all, not enjoyable, BUT!!! I'm still going again tonight. I know, I'm crazy, right? I'm just going to make sure I'm there early enough to get a spot in the front of the class, right up against the mirrors. The idea of being in the front does make me a little self conscious, but I think I could deal with that better than stinky feet hitting me in the face.

No comments:

Post a Comment