It's hard to describe what exactly I've been feeling these past weeks. I've been cycling through my highs and lows and an incredible rate, and things have been all around shitty.
I think the hardest thing for me right now is that I have all these ideas in my head. They keep coming and going and it makes it really hard to focus on day to day life. I've actually missed a fair amount of work because of it.
The problem with these ideas is that I have no way to follow through. I want to make this and do that, but in reality I'm just not as creative as all that.
Even this blog is kind of a shout out into the void, hoping that something will come to me.
The simple fact is that I just don't have a lot to talk about. Literally, the only thing going on in my life right now is my mental and emotional state, and that really isn't all that easy to write about, and I'm sure it's pretty boring to everyone else.
Part of me feels like I should try to improve my life, cause then I can improve everything else. Part of me just wants to give up on it all.
I guess that's why it's called bi polar disorder.
Maybe one day I'll get there. More than likely I won't. I know that I need to try though. So I will. I hope that someone out there would be willing to help me though all this ranting and raving.
