Knitting, Magic: The Gathering, and Social Anxiety Part 1

So one of the things that has been causing a big problem in my life has been the increase in my social anxiety.  I've never exactly been one to go out and about on a daily basis. I've never understood the type of people who would to to a coffee shop just to sit and read a book or surf the web? Why be amongst all those people when you could be safe at home on your sofa? Never made any sense to me.

I did, however, had two social activities that I really enjoyed. I had my knitting night on Wednesdays, and Friday Night Magic at my favorite comic shop, Dragon Lair Comics. Eventually though, my anxiety got to the point that I couldn't even handle going to those, even though I was with people I knew and liked.

For those of you who don't know, Magic: The Gathering is a card game that's been around for almost forever, and it's going stronger now then I've ever seen it before. I started playing back when I was in junior high, then stopped after high school.  When we moved into our new house, I found some of my old decks, and taught my husband how to play, and that's how we got started with all that. It was something fun for us to do together, and it was nice.

We stopped playing when things started going downhill with us.  We had some problems, and even once we worked on those, the stress of going out and being in a small room with 50 other people (many of whom were of the thought that showering was optional) was just too much for me to deal with.

We tried going back again once Dragon's Lair moved to their new local. It huge and bright and had none of the stale smell of Monster spilt on the carpet. But still, it was too much for me.

The Dragons Maze pre-release event was the hardest to deal with.  It was HUGE.  There was easily 80 people there. It was loud, people were pushing against other people trying to get a good look at the singles the store had to sell.  My anxiety got to the point to where I wanted to throw my first match just so I could have enough time to go the liquor store before the 2nd one started. 

I'm so lucky to have had my husband there with me.  He rubbed my back, and hugged me, and sat with me rather than trading cards with the other guys. He really is a sweetheart. Unfortunately it just wasn't enough to calm me down.

I know that I should not be that stressed out in a room full of shy nerdy boys. Most of them don't even look at me twice, yet I still get that nagging feeling in the back of my head like they are judging me. This ended up being one of the deciding factors in going to get the help that I needed.