Of Nightmares and Men

Don't know why I choose that title, but I like it, so =P

So we all know that one of the best and easiest things for good mental (really overall) health is sleep.
But what about when that sleep isn't good? 

I need sleep a lot. I'm one of those that 8 hours really isn't enough, so I usually cut my day short and get to bed pretty damn early.

Lately, the past couple of months, I've been having an insane amount of nightmares.  Like maybe 3 or 4 a week. I've always had them, but they are getting worse.

I know that they're linked to my anxiety, but it doesn't matter what I take before bed to calm me down, I still have them.

So I have this almost endless cycle of having a really bad nightmare (or several small ones) that results in me have very little restful sleep. So I wake up groggy and already on edge. Those seem to be the days that I have my major meltdowns. 

Like this morning.

So I missed Yoga yesterday. It was a bad day, and I just wasn't mentally prepared for it. But, I had today off, with it being the 4th and all, so I was going to get a good nights sleep, and head to the 10 am class.

It didn't work out that way. I had so many nightmares last night, I may have even been better off skipping the sleep all together. I don't remember a lot of details about the dreams, but I do remember being chased, which is top on my list of recurring nightmares. I think I woke up about 5 or 6 times in the night from different dreams.

So when I got up this morning, I was already worn down.  I was more mentally exhausted than I was before I went to bed last night, and I only finally fell asleep because my panics had worn me down to that point.

So I guess it comes to no surprise that I just couldn't do anything. I sat here in front of the computer, trying to just veg out until it was time to get ready, and it just hit me. An overwhelming sense of dread and despair.

Lots of really bad stuff went through my head, I yelled and screamed a lot, and it all ended with me taking a 4 hour nap, which means I missed the last Yoga class of the day, so yeah, I lost the challenge.

Sorry if you were hoping for something motivating. Didn't happen today.