So, I'm gonna give a run down of what's been happening for the last year that I've been gone.
Things got a little better, then they got much much worse. The doctor that I was getting my medications for my anxiety turned out to be a total nut case. She was so flaky that it just caused more anxiety to try to get in touch with her and get her to keep a appointment. When ever she did, it was just several hours of her spouting nonsense and basically put me off from going back.
So things spiraled, my work suffered, until I had a really really bad week and forced me to find a new doctor. This guy is good. He spent most of the time actually listening to what was going on, going over family history, even had me do blood work to make sure it wasn't something with my thyroid or anything else. After going over all that, he said that he thought that I was being treated for the wrong thing, and that Xanax was not what I needed. So I'm now on mood stabilizers for type 2 bipolar disorder.
So that being said, I've been on Lamotrigine for about 3 months now, and I can tell that it's helping. I still get a little crazy every now and then, I still get those insane needs to do all the things that make me feel guilty later, but I can now understand them for what they are and keep myself under control.
I started seeing an actual therapist who I really like. She really supports the idea of using my crafts to help me deal with my anxiety attacks, and that it would be better than having to rely on medication. So I just have to remember that when I knit or spin, that is what I focus on and try to stop my thoughts from going to other places. I've found that once I get the thoughts out of my head, even for a few minutes, I'm able to deal with the situation much better.
She suggested that I keep a journal, which I'm doing for the very personal stuff, but I think starting up the blog again will help too. I think it's good for me to try to reach out to people who are dealing with the same thing I am, with out the social anxiety of going to group therapy.
TL;DR, back to blogging about how my crafts are helping me cope with my anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder.
